How to let go of anger? Are you feeling hurt and frustrated lately? Are you feeling resentment towards a certain person in your life? Do you feel like you cannot let go of your anger and are holding it inside you?
So how to release your anger and frustration?
At some point in your life, you might feel anger towards a person or a situation. You might feel wronged and you would want to release your pent-up anger. Feeling anger in such situations is expected and is not a bad thing but holding onto such feelings can be quite unhealthy.
A real problem arises when you do not let go of such feelings rather you let them grow and hold onto these feelings. Holding onto anger, resentment and frustration can have a negative impact on your physical and mental health. It can greatly alter your blood pressure and stress levels.
10 ways to let out anger and frustration
1. Figure out the source of your anger
The first and foremost step that is essential in letting go of your anger is to recognize the source of your anger. Figure out the source of your anger to let it go. Take a step back and evaluate the situation. Ask yourself if the cause is something that you can change or control, or is it something that is out of your control?
There can be many causes of your anger. Firstly, it may be because you feel frustrated in certain situations such as you want to reach work on time but there is heavy traffic and you find yourself stuck in there. So the source of your anger in this situation is your frustration.
Secondly, you feel angry when you are hurt by someone whose opinion matters to you and who is important in your life. That can be anyone including your family member, a close friend, or a colleague.
You need to ask yourself if that person really matters. If it is someone important in your life, you need to talk to that person and you can let your anger out in a respectful manner. However, if it is some random person on the road or a clerk at your workplace, or a rude salesman at the mall, the best response would be to ignore such people and move on with your life.
Finally, your anger may be caused by any kind of loss. It may be the loss of a job opportunity or it may be the loss of a loved one. You may often ask yourself how do I release my anger and frustration immediately? My advice would be to figure out the source of your anger first in order to deal with it and find the best solutions.
2. Create distance to let go of your anger
You might feel like you cannot handle the situation that has made you angry, and you might at times be unable to cope with the amount of frustration and hurt that you are feeling. You might feel like you will explode at any time on the person that has hurt you. The best solution, in this case, would be to take a minute for yourself and simply excuse yourself from the situation. Walk away and take time to rethink and gather your thoughts.
Such practice may prevent you from saying something out of anger that you might regret later. Once you are completely relaxed, you can talk to that person and figure out the solution.
Moreover, distancing yourself from the person or the situation that has hurt you can help you in letting go of your anger by preventing you from facing that person or situation. When you are distanced you simply do not think about the situation or person so, you are not constantly reminded of your anger and hurt that you are trying to forget.
3. Feel your negative emotions
It might seem easier to shut yourself down and ignore what you are feeling, however, this might not work for a long time. Rather, to let go of your anger you need to feel all the negative emotions such as hurt, anxiety, frustration, and sadness within you. You need to let these emotions flow out of you.
Shutting yourself down and blocking these negative emotions is not good for your physical and mental health. When you block these feelings they tend to build up with time and finally, a time comes when you are unable to handle them. You feel like you might crumble at any time.
So the best solution would be to not cage up your emotions and feel every single one of them instead of keeping them bottled up inside you which is just like creating an internal pressure cooker that is bound to burst sooner or later.
Suppressing your anger for a long time is not good for your physical and mental well-being. It often manifests itself as constant low-grade frustration and nervousness that do not seem to be related to any aspect of your present life. Occasionally it erupts into full-blown rage or highly aggressive behavior.
So to let go of your anger, you just need to embrace your anger and let it flow. Allow yourself to let it go.
4. Find workable solutions
Do not focus on the problem rather focus on finding a solution to your problem and the associated emotions you are feeling. Instead of staying angry, find a workable solution.
Think about the situation. Is it something that you can control or is it something that is out of your control? For the situations that you do have control over, you need to find a proper solution for it. As for the situations that are out of your control, let it go. Do not dwell upon them.
Address the problem that has caused you anger and grief. If it is a person try to communicate with that person and talk out your emotions. However, if you cannot talk to the person or the situation is out of your control try some relaxation techniques. You can try to change your environment.
Go out for a nice stroll in the street. Practice yoga and other stress-releasing exercises. You can always express yourself in a journal. It will help you express and process your feelings.
Such practices will help you to analyze your response and take positive action in these situations. Eventually, you will be able to find a solution to your problem and this will help you in letting go of your anger.
5. Practice forgiveness
Forgiveness is vital to your healing process. It allows you to let go of anger, guilt, shame, and, sadness. According to Mahatma Gandhi:
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mahatma Gandhi
Acknowledge the emotions you are feeling and see how they affect your behavior. Chose to forgive the person who has offended you. Forgiveness helps you to let go of the resentful feelings and any thoughts of revenge you might have.
Forgiveness does not mean that you are a weak person and you are surrendering rather it helps you let go of your anger. Also, forgiving the other person proves that you are emotionally strong. It helps you to have peace of mind. The angry emotions will no longer drain your energy. You will be able to regain control of your emotions and your life.
Forgiving the person who has offended you is quite hard but once you have accomplished this fleet, you will no longer be controlled by your emotions. You will become a stronger person and you will finally be able to let go of your anger.
According to Holy Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (SAW)
“You do not do evil to those who do evil to you, but you deal with them with forgiveness and kindness”
6. Focus on yourself
Focusing on yourself and your work is an important step that will help you let go of your anger. Once you start focusing on yourself, your physical and mental health, and your work, you will feel quite light since you are not feeding the negative emotions that are welled up inside you.
Focusing on yourself will help you grow and nurture yourself. You will feel accomplished in your life. It will help you create balance in your life. However, if you are constantly focusing on the wrong things such as your anger and grief you will feel as if you are falling into a black hole with no escape. You will not be able to succeed in your life and you will feel like a failure.
So you may ask yourself How can I start focusing on myself? The first step would be to create a self-care routine. Try different physical activities and adventures. Write down your feelings in a journal. Read a book. Listen to your favorite songs and try to spend time in nature.
The second step would be to feel compassionate about yourself. Be kind and gentle to yourself. Pamper yourself with the things you love. The final and most important step is to be grateful. Be grateful for the little things in your life and you will find yourself very calm and balanced in your life. By following the above amazing steps you will be able to focus on yourself you will feel less anger and hurt in your life.
Related: How to be Content with Yourself
7. Create positive thinking
Why positive thinking is important? How to train your mind to think positively? Studies have shown that various personality traits of a human being such as optimism or pessimism can have a great impact on your health and well-being. It can seriously affect your mental status and the way you cope with certain situations in your life.
So how to think positively? Positive thinking usually starts with self-talk. You may notice your approach to situations in life. You find yourself in a difficult situation and you start thinking about it. It can go in two ways, either you deal with the situation optimistically and start thinking positively or you just start getting angrier with every second, and a stream of negative emotions build up in your mind.
You need to focus on the good things in every situation. You should have an optimistic attitude in your life. Above all, you should always believe that whatever happens in your life is going to be the best for you. Filter out negative emotions. Only then will you be able to think positively.
Research has shown that positive thinking can give you numerous health benefits. These health benefits include increased life span, lower rates of depression and distress, reduced risk of cardiovascular diseases, and improved physical and psychological health.
To sum it up, positive thinking can help you create value in life and can certainly help you in letting go of your anger.
8. Change your environment
Your immediate surroundings may be a contributing factor to your distress and grief. Elements in your environment may be making you angry. Your environment impacts your physical and mental health greatly. Changing yourself and your attitude towards things in your life begins by changing your environment.
You can start by making small changes such as moving a book on the bookshelf or redecorating your room. You can organize your closet or your work desk. This will help you clear up your mind and your jumbled-up thoughts. Eventually, you will be able to reevaluate your thoughts and will be able to let go of your anger and all the negative emotions.
Moreover, you can try to spend time in nature and the greenery. Studies have shown that visiting green spaces and being exposed to the natural environment can reduce psychological stress. If you feel chronically stressed and filled up with anger try to incorporate more nature-themed elements into your work as well as living space. You can add an aquarium to your living room or you can hang a painting of nature on your living room wall. It will help you cope with the situation at hand.
You can also go on a vacation or a hike. This will help you freshen up and you will be distracted from any negative emotions. Pursue new adventures and experiences.
So how does an environment affect a person? The environment can greatly influence people’s behavior and emotions. it can either be healing or it can be destructive to your personal growth. Changing your immediate surroundings can greatly help you in overcoming the obstacle of anger in your life. It may seem like a small step but it can certainly pave the path for your healing process.
9. Surround yourself with positive people
The people in your life greatly impact the way you feel. The people you interact with have some significant effects on your life. Allow yourself to lean on your loved ones in times of need. Talk to a trusted friend or any of your family members. Express your anger and frustration to your loved ones. This will help you release all the pent-up anger.
Happiness and positivity influence your success. You need to surround yourself with people who you love who you are inspired by and whom you look up to. Such people will be your backbone in times of need. When you find yourself in the deepest pits of grief, anxiety, and anger, your trusted friend and family member will definitely help you get up and gain strength back in your life.
10. Seek professional help
If you are still struggling with your emotions and mental health, you can get benefits from a professional. An experienced professional will help you and will guide you through the process. Moreover, you will be able to talk about your emotions and release your pent-up anger.
Seeking professional help does not mean that you are a mentally challenged person rather it will help you in finding your path towards positivity. Therapy sessions with an experienced professional will help you heal. You will be able to rid your mind of unhealthy emotions and you will be able to let go of your anger.
Anger is like fire. If you start feeding it by constantly focusing on it, it gets stronger and stronger day by day. Ultimately it will consume you in the end. However, if you stop feeding it by ignoring it, it will fade away.
There is a lot of learning and self-exploration involved in the process of letting go of anger. It is not an easy process and definitely requires time. You need to be gentle with yourself. Take baby steps day by day. Eventually, you will find yourself without the negative emotions blocking your path and with a completely new mindset.