Have you ever met someone having an excessive need for admiration?
Someone whose so full of themselves?
And, also someone who can’t digest a different opinion?
Well, turns out that you are dealing with a narcissist in your life because all of these are just some of the signs of a narcissist.
While you may have an idea of narcissism, yet it is more than just being self-absorbed or selfish. There are plenty of signs and traits that a narcissist may possess. Some of which are quite obvious like the constant need for approval. However, narcissism is more than this attention-seeking attitude. Rather, psychologists have identified 8 sure signs of narcissism that you might have not known earlier. So, let me walk you through these 8 unbelievable signs of a narcissist. But before that, it would be apt to shed some light on what narcissist personality disorder is? To have a better understanding of the psyche behind the traits they exhibit.
So, let’s get into it!
What is a Narcissist Personality Disorder?
According to research published by the American Psychiatric Association people with narcissist personality disorder display a grandiose sense of self. They are characterized by a lack of empathy and an admiration-seeking attitude. Their identity of self relies upon how others see them. Therefore they always try their best to appease others and seek approval in return. Underlying this overt confidence lies an extremely vulnerable soul who struggles hard to hide their insecurities from the people. Thus, they aim to cover their weaknesses with an outward show of high confidence.
However, this approval-seeking behavior leads to problems in the relationships they form at any stage of life. According to Mayo Clinic, narcissist people have trouble forming relationships because when they don’t get the required admiration they get dissatisfied with their relationships. Their constant need for admiration generally makes people reluctant towards interacting with them.
While a Research Gate publication suggests that their inflated sense of self falls in the area of social dominance instead of social warmth. They believe that they are smarter, wiser, intelligent, or beautiful than others around. And so their actions demand high status and approval from others. For people with narcissistic personality disorder, there is none better than them. So, they want everyone to make them the center of attention. This elevated sense of self is threatened by slight criticism. This leads to violent outbursts of emotions towards the person who criticizes them.
In a nutshell, narcissist personality disorder boils down to extreme selfishness often at the expense of others. Having a look at the traits that narcissism quantifies itself in you may be able to spot any narcissist person in your life. And therefore would be better able to deal with their manipulative behavior.
8 Common Signs of a Narcissist Personality Disorder
Just as other mental disorders have traits that help a person identify the problem similarly there exist signs of narcissism. It is not necessary for someone to exhibit all of these traits to qualify as a narcissist. But, rather just 55% of traits if found would suffice that you are dealing with a narcissist. So, let’s have a look at the most common narcissist traits.
1- An Inflated Sense of Self
While ‘narcissist’ is the first word that you may blurt out while looking at someone obsessed with selfies or mirrors. Yet, there’s more to narcissism than just an extreme obsession with oneself. People having an inflated sense of self generally believe that they are better than others. Be it in looks, intelligence, or status wise.
If you have met someone who only talks about themselves, their achievements, and everything in their life then you may be dealing with a narcissist. These people usually have no regard for others. Conversations with these individuals only revolve around how charismatic, intelligent and grandiose they are.
These people generally are very arrogant and aggressive. They try to dominate others with their views. All they do during a conversation is brag and boast of their achievements. Thus, they are also quick to get jealous if another person tries to share their achievements. For narcissist people, the conversation should and must always revolve around them because they are such genius.
They usually are very self-confident. They come strong in their romantic relationships at first which should be a point of concern. If you have met someone who is all over you during the first month of your dating. And has nothing meaningful to do with their life other than just texting you. Or telling you how compatible you both are, then you need to take a step back.
2- You Owe me Attitude
Due to their grandiose image of self, narcissist individuals generally believe that they deserve special treatments. They believe that they are special and they deserve nothing below that. To achieve this special treatment they go out of their way in treating the individuals they form relationships with. However, if the other person fails to reciprocate the same out-of-this-world treatment then they have to face extreme violent reactions.
According to the Society of personality and social psychology people displaying this, ‘I deserve more’ attitude generally have a knack for creating conflict, being dishonest, and acting selfishly. Their self-absorbent attitude makes them have little to no regard for others’ feelings or compulsions. For them, the world should revolve only around them.
This sense of entitlement also makes them ungrateful for whatever they have currently. Their do-more mentality makes them oblivious to their blessings and therefore, they are generally dissatisfied with life. Interestingly, these highly unrealistic expectations have nothing to do with themselves. They just want more from others without actually doing something meaningful themselves. This attitude also makes them highly dependent on others because they do not want to put in any effort themselves. Instead, they want the world to revolve around them because of how special they are!
People dealing with narcissist individuals usually have to bend over backward to satisfy them. The unrealistic expectations directed towards them take a heavy toll on their mental health. Because whatever they do for their narcissist partners is never enough.
So, if you spot this sign of narcissist individuals then be sure to exercise caution to that individual.
3- Constant Need for Approval
While seeking approval for your every move as a child might seem acceptable. But the problem arises when this need for admiration accompanies you throughout your life. As a child, we usually tend to look to our parents whenever we achieve something. But as an adult, this approval-seeking attitude might destroy your self-esteem.
At the core of this need for approval lies an extremely insecure individual who doesn’t have any sense of themself. People having narcissist personality disorder though outwardly seem extremely self-confident. But this outwards show is just an effort to hide the insecurities that lie within. Their fear of making their weaknesses known to the world compels them to shadow it with extreme self-confidence and an imaginary sense of self.
This depiction of themselves is also the manifestation of an underlying want for validation. They boast about themselves because they want people to approve of them. Their high sense of self needs constant admiration.
These individuals also surround themselves with people who they think can cater to their needs. People who are in awe of their grandiosity and genius. However, if these people diminish the quantity of praise then there is rage and danger awaiting them. Narcissist individuals would never compromise on a lack of admiration from others. Rather, they tend to see it as betrayal and it may unleash a reign of toxicity towards the other individual.
4- Extreme Selfishness
One of the most common signs of a narcissist is their ability to manipulate others for the fulfillment of their own needs. They are extremely self-centered individuals and their relationships are meant to revolve around them. They only talk about themselves. What they need and desire in life. They will go to any extent to manipulate others into believing that what they want for themselves is what others want as well.
Narcissist individuals usually view people in their lives as mere objects. Once they no longer satisfy their needs they no longer want them in their lives. Their lack of empathy for others also makes it easier for them to move on with their lives easily. While the other individual owing to the extreme manipulation is often left doubting themselves. Ruining their self-esteem and having trouble forming relationships again in life.
Gas Lighting is one of the most significant narcissist traits. They manipulate others to the extent where the other individual starts doubting themselves.
Making them feel not enough.
Comparing their present with how they used to be in past.
Making them believe that whatever wrong ever happens is their fault.
Playing victim in every situation.
Compelling the other person to come up with excuses for their wrong move is just one of the signs of the manipulation that a narcissistic individual may exercise.
5- Lack of Empathy
No matter for how long you have known a narcissistic individual, they don’t care about you. Whether it is their close relationships or their relationships at work, the only thing they care about is themselves. They just know about themselves. They can go to any extent to fulfill their own needs often at the expense of others. If a narcissist person wants something then they want it right there and then. None of your compulsions would make any sense to them. Rather, they would be quick to play the victim game making you seem like the worst person in the entire world.
If you want to see whether the person you are interacting with is a narcissist or not then try sharing any bad experience of yours with them. Tell about how bad your day was at work. Or share your past traumas to see how they react. If they get bored or try to change the subject of the conversation then it is a clear symptom of a narcissist personality disorder. However, you may want to see the pattern of this reaction first before jumping on to any conclusion. Because sometimes the other individual might themselves be going through some terrible times in life which can make them indifferent to the sorrows of other people.
So, look for these signs of a narcissist personality disorder. You may well be saved from going through the traumatizing experience of dealing with a narcissist in life.
Related; 10 ways to build emotional maturity
6- They Constantly Put Others Down
Narcissists individuals love picking on other people. They would call you names, tease you or mock you for something worth celebrating. At first, you might brush their mean comments aside and ignore them with the hint of a smile. But, after a while, the intensity of the ridicule will increase making you doubt your capabilities.
What narcissists intend to achieve with constant mockery is an uplift of their self-esteem. As previously said narcissists have extremely low-self esteem. All the outward self-confidence is just a tactic to hide their insecurities. This extreme self-confidence is often at the expense of others. To uplift their self-esteem they won’t shy away from putting others down. This is why they like making fun of others.
Making others doubt their abilities makes narcissists powerful. They would never want other people to succeed in life. Thus, they always come with excuses highlighting how the achievement of the other individual was just because of them. To make others feel low they would come up with something like,’ great! But it wouldn’t have been possible without me’.
Another sign of a narcissist is that they would constantly criticize your choices. Whether it is your clothing sense, your food choices, or even your career choices. Narcissists won’t just ever let you grow because seeing you grow makes them feel powerless. And thus their self-esteem further lowers.
7- Narcissists are Always Right
Yes, they are ALWAYS! Arguing with a narcissist is like banging your head on the wall till you hurt yourself. If you have come across an individual who never misses an opportunity to prove you wrong then know that you are dealing with a narcissist. Thus, never disagree or debate with them on anything. As discussing anything would only waste your time coupled with a severe headache later. For a narcissist, it’s never a disagreement rather they consider it the ignorance of the other individual. And they would instantly transform into a mentor trying to correct your opinions and thrust theirs’ upon you.
Their tendency to never consider themselves wrong and apologize for their mistakes makes the life of people in a relationship with them horrible. At the end of the day, the other individual eventually gives up on their opinion. They may even start doubting their rationale. So, if ever you meet someone who isn’t willing to ever accept their mistakes then you definitely should consider cutting all cords with them. As arguing with them will only drive you nuts. This is one of the signs of a narcissist disorder that you should never ignore.
8- Difficulty Maintaining Relationships
Due to their lack of empathy narcissist individuals always have trouble forming relationships.
They would seldom have fights, arguments, and breakups. The love life of a narcissist is never stable due to their extremely high expectations from their partners. Their constant need for approvals makes the other person feel pressurized a lot. Their habit of mocking the other individual affects them to the point where they constantly doubt their abilities. All of this takes a toll on their mental health. Thus, no sane human wants to stay with a narcissist individual once they know their reality.
This leads to a history of terrible relationships and a future of more troubled relationships.
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It is easier to fall for a narcissist at the beginning of a relationship given their unresisting charm and confidence. However, cutting all ties with them can be quite disturbing for a normal individual after you know their truth. With these signs in mind, you would be saved from falling prey to them. When you keep these 8 signs of a narcissist in your mind you would be better able to spot the red flags and avoid such people.