Parenting is a deliberate task and can’t be taken lightly. Parenting guide helps you with the steps you should take as a parent with useful parenting tips.
Parenthood is a significant milestone for everyone in their lives. The task of fostering new brains into good human beings is daunting, indeed. It is a great responsibility to know that your actions will shape a personality. But, with this parenting guide, you will understand easy parenting tips to help your kids grow.
You are probably wondering, what is good parenting? And how can an article tell you anything about it? Well, we have researched several authentic sources for parenting tips for parents. After all, the job is hard, and everyone could use some help. People ask what is the best parenting advice. But, it is not as simple as a single piece of advice to set you on the correct parenting styles. It is a continuous process and requires hard work. Also, you may not see this hard work being paid off immediately. Here is a list of 9 positive parenting tips to help you on the way.
What is good parenting, you ask again? It is a repetition of these positive parenting tips in your kid’s life.
1- Be ready
The very first step is to brace for a change. Your life is not going to be the same. All the parenting guides in the world cannot help you if you are not ready to accept change. Many times, parenthood comes as a by-product of marriage. The parents do not prepare themselves and end up with a baby. This not only uproots the lives of the parents but has adverse effects on the baby as well. Looking at parenting tips before having a kid helps you get an idea of the situation. You can decide on what parenting style to choose as well.
2- Role Model
As soon as the child’s brain is developed enough, they start idolising the people they see. You are the child’s first teachers. He will learn what he sees happening around him. That is the way the human brain is hardwired. We mimic the things around us and try to integrate them into our own minds when we want to learn.
So, parenting guide rule no. 1. Behave the way you would like your kid to behave. Don’t just tell them the right thing to do, show them that you do it as well. Your kids will follow your footsteps. If you want them to be respectful, show them respect. If you want them to be empathetic to others, be empathic to them. Being a role model is a pro parenting style, and your kids will be more than willing to follow.
3- Never Hurt their Self-Esteem
A lot of parenting guides will tell you about the importance of discipline. But, very few mention how delicate you need to be. A child develops his sense of self from the treatment he gets from home. Kids notice your tone and body language when you deal with them. And they derive their self-worth from these gestures.
If you praise your kid on little things, it is going to help boost their self-esteem. But, if you need to tell them to improve, here is a parenting tip. Never use comparisons with your child. If you tell your kid that some other kid in class or neighbourhood did better, it will destroy their self-esteem. Comparisons always make your child feel worthless. Instead, go with something like, “how about we make it even better?” If you show your kids ways to improve instead of quoting other kids, they will learn much faster.
4- Always Show Love
Many parenting guides will make you believe that showing too much love would spoil your kids. The truth could not be farther from it. Showing unconditional love always fosters trust between parents and kids. It could be simple acts like hugs and kisses. Telling them how important they are to you. Going all out with affection is not what is going to spoil your kids.
However, if you start being lenient to them regarding bad things. That is what will spoil them. Keep in mind that it is possible to love your kids and still tell them what’s right and wrong. Love does not mean low expectations, and bad behaviour is to be tolerated. There is a gentle way of communicating if your child is doing something wrong.
Medical research shows that kids who receive love show higher levels of oxytocin. It is an enzyme that creates feelings like contentment and satisfaction. This can also help in the development of the child.
5-Discipline and Positive Parenting
When it comes to setting limits, be firm yet kind. Consistency will help you kid realise the boundaries, not harsh treatment. Try and set an example for the child to follow in that scenario. Now you need to work out the middle way between love and discipline. This is where your parenting styles get challenged. You have to be loving to your child and still firmly convey what you find to be wrong about the situation. Setting continuous limits for your child is a healthy parenting tip.
An example is behaviour with elders. If your kid misbehaves, first of all, set an example by behaving nicely. Be firm on the stand that what the kid did was wrong and not appreciated. Try and convince the child through personal example.
Having a system in place helps as well, e.g., one warning on bad behaviour and the second time a loss of privilege. Like TV time or phone privilege etc. Another parenting tip to keep in mind is that consistency is the key. You cannot discipline your kid if you let a lousy behaviour slide sometimes. The child needs to know that it is not acceptable.
6- Positive Experiences
Parenting guides are not usually made on medical grounds. But, a child is born with a network of billions of neural links, if not more. These links are open-ended in the beginning. But, as he/she grows older, the experiences relate to these neural networks, and the child forms opinions about things. He will also absorb your reactions in specific scenarios and mimic them. Positive experiences will create positive links and give the kid healthy responses to situations. E.g., spending quality time with your kids will make happy feelings, and the kid will react positively to his surroundings. But, if you ignore your child or give him negative experiences like anger and humiliation, that is what the kid will carry with him.
7- Compliment Good Behaviour
Punishing and discipline is not the only thing that a parenting guide should talk about. Positive reinforcement should be part of the mix. If you catch your kids doing something pleasant, appreciate them. Little words of praise will encourage your kids to be good without asking. For example, we saw that you cleaned your room up by yourself, which is great. Or, we noticed you helped the old lady with her groceries, which was very kind of you.
A genuine loving reward like hugs or kisses would elevate the feeling of contentment. Materialistic rewards are good too at times. But, be careful not to go too far ahead. Otherwise, the purity of the action could be jeopardised. The kids might start doing nice things just for the extra ice cream or treats.
8- Close the Communication Gap
A typical parenting guide would tell you that your kids need to be obedient. Well, that is not the whole story. Your kids need a logical basis to behave a certain way just as much as you need it as an adult. If you don’t tell your kids why a particular behaviour is not acceptable, they will start wondering by themselves. So, instead of just saying this is what you “should do,” try and tell them why that is good behaviour. As soon as your child understands the reason, it becomes easier for them to follow.
Also, allow them space to nicely question your directions as well. That will help them nurture good intellect and develop their understanding. E.g., let them ask why do they need to be kind to others and why cleaning up after them is essential. You should count it as a success if the kids feel like they can talk to you no matter what.
9- Set Goals
Any good parents want their kids to do well both in education and in personal life. They want them to be respectful and kind human beings and lead an overall happy life. But, ask yourselves, how much time do you spend trying to achieve these goals?
Siegel and Bryson talk about the survival mode in their book, The Whole-Brain Child. Being a parent is an exhausting job, and at times, it is common to feel frustrated. But, do not let that frustration get you into survival mode. Don’t just try and get through the day, try and turn every event into a meaningful experience. All this should be done with your goals in mind, your child’s happiness. That is what a positive parenting style is.
10- Take Care of Yourselves
Last but not least, parents are also human beings. Many parenting guides fail to incorporate that in their parenting tips. Parenting is a full-time job and can be tiring. Giving yourself time off is necessary as well. Take a vacation; let their grandparents spoil them for a few days. Explain to your kids how you need some time for yourselves as well. It will not only rejuvenate you but also teach your kids to give other people their space.
Often, childbirth puts the attention your spouses might need on the backburner. That is an unhealthy relationship and could cause frustration among the parents. Taking some time for you will not only help you, but it will also have positive effects on your parenting as well.
What is a Bad Parent?
If you are willing to be present in your child’s life and help, then there is no such thing as a bad parent. You need to understand that nobody is perfect; you will make mistakes along the way. Also, keep the same thing in mind about your kids. They are human beings, and you may need to go easy on them at times. Nevertheless, here are a few things to avoid at all costs while dealing with kids.
1- How Does an Angry Parent Affect a Child?
As a useful parenting guide, being angry with the kids and yelling will never teach your kids right from wrong. They will only end up being scared to do something wrong. While that is a good short-term achievement, it is not an effective parenting style. Psychological researches have revealed that an angry parent can cause your child to be aggressive. It will also make your kids feel insecure and create a communication gap.
Also, NEVER use physical force with your kids. Researches have shown that kids who receive corporal punishment at home are more likely to be physically aggressive even later in life. Instead, let your kids know that their behaviour has disappointed you. The children are more likely to reflect on their behaviour if you explain to them what they did wrong.
2- What is the Most Psychologically Damaging Thing You can Say to a Child?
Experts say that the most psychologically damaging thing for a kid is to feel unwanted. Never say that you don’t love them or should never have had them. Also, try and avoid phrases like “you were a mistake.” A child’s self-esteem is destroyed if his/her parents make them feel like they are not wanted. There are better ways to communicate anger. And, if you feel too frustrated, just take a step back and deal with it yourself before you talk to your kid about it. Here is a detailed article on why self-esteem is important.
So, what is healthy parenting? A parenting guide can only help you along the way and provide useful parenting tips. Realizing that life is very different from a parenting guide is healthy parenting. You cannot hope to act on all the parenting tips at all times. Give yourself the leverage of being human and just put in your best efforts for the betterment of the child. Parenting is hard work. Also, you do not see the fruits of your hard work anytime soon. But, when you do see them, it can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life.