Have you ever felt a rush of emotions? Being nostalgic about the time you spent with your loved one? You probably started missing them more as you read this. If ‘I miss her’ is the first thought that came to your mind then it’s normal to feel that way as it depicts the love you once had for them.
Missing someone with whom you planned your whole life and not being able to do anything about it, is a painful emotion. You feel sad, lonely, angry, and frustrated all at the same time.
Although it is hard to let go of painful emotions whether it is after a breakup or after the death of a loved one, it surely is not impossible. It might take months to get back to your normal self, but it will be worth it after all.
So, if the signs mentioned below sound familiar, you are in for some sure-fire ways that will not only help you in overcoming painful emotions but will also make you a controlled and transformed person.
What are the signs of missing someone?
It is natural to miss the person you have been emotionally attached to. You miss a person when they really matter to you. Remembering all the good times and the bad ones. You are nostalgic about the happy moments and you wish how their being around can change the way you feel at the moment. You unconsciously remember them in every prayer and hope for their wellbeing.
Not only that but you want them to be around whenever you are in trouble or you have good news to share. When something you watch or listen to reminds you of them. When you imagine how they would have handled things if they were around. Your life feels incomplete without them. You just can’t function properly without talking to them for a day or two even.
These among others are some of the signs of missing someone you shared a bond with. The feeling of longing engulfs you sometimes and makes you sob into your pillow at night. Now having said that, let’s address the most asked question associated with missing a person.
Is missing someone a sign of love?
You might think, ‘I miss her, but is it a sign of love?’ you will miss a person but it is not always out of love. As One Cent Worth says it can be infatuation, a crush, lust, or simply attraction. The initial stages of falling for a person make you miss their absence. However, it is not only associated with romantic relationships.
You can miss a person with whom you don’t share a romantic bond. Like your family, friends, or even your favorite colleague at work.
Missing someone is not necessarily a sign of love but you cannot love a person whom you don’t miss. If you are unbothered by the absence or presence of a person, then it clearly means that you don’t love them. Because love requires concern and care.
It is the desire of having them around you. So, before committing to a serious relationship, observe the time you spend apart and monitor your feelings first to know if you love them or not.
5 amazing ways to stop missing her
If you are heartbroken and want to get rid of the memories of the person who shattered your heart into a million pieces, you came to the right place. Read on to know some amazing ways to stop missing your ex and carry on with your life happily.
1- Embrace your emotions
The rush of emotions after a breakup or after a loved one’s death engulfs you to the core. It feels like a roller coaster ride of never-ending emotions. The sadness, anger, frustration, and longing seem too overwhelming to deal with. There are days when you just want to lay in bed, crying your heart out. You won’t feel like eating anything or dressing up for work even.
All the feelings seem too hard to handle at times. You cannot get rid of them all at once. It has to be that way as you had invested your time, effort, and emotions in a person who now no longer exists in your life.
But, you need to move on from it now. There’s no quick fix to it nor is there any magic wand to ease your heart at once. You just need to embrace your emotions.
Accept what you are feeling instead of showing it on your back. If you miss a certain someone, accept it and say it out loud to yourself or write it down on a piece of paper. What I usually advise is to write about how you feel. Think of it as a letter to that person. Pour your heart out but don’t show it to anyone.
You’ll certainly feel much better after you realize how you feel and accept it. So, erase the phrase ‘I miss her’ from your dictionary once and for all with this amazing tip.
Related; How to Be Happy with Yourself
2- Distract yourself with something that interests you
After a breakup, it is normal to not want to do anything and just lay in bed the whole day. However, it is not good for your mental and physical health at all. Lying in bed the whole day, scrolling through the pictures, or reading the old chats, will make you feel even worse. On the contrary, you should get moving no matter how you feel.
Distract yourself with something that interests you. Find a new hobby or carry on with the older one. Watch a movie at home or go out with your friends. Keep yourself busy so that your mind no longer wanders to bring back the emotions associated with that person. It is easy to mourn a loss, time and again when you have nothing else to do. But, it is a vicious cycle that you need to break consciously.
Normally, when someone says to me ’ I miss her so much it hurts,’ It is because they never really make a conscious effort to come out of the loss. They just look at life blankly wondering if they have nothing substantial to do now. Well let me tell you one thing, your life is as important without them as it was with them.
Life goes on. People come and go, so you need to move on too. Stop thinking too much and just find something you enjoy doing. Go for a walk or join a gym. The rush of endorphins after a workout will surely make you feel better.
3- Focus on yourself and your career
Now that you have all the time in the world to spare for yourself, make good use of it. Focus on yourself. Look deeper into your positive and negative attributes. Maybe some of your negative traits were the cause of a breakup. Observe them and try to fix them. You cannot make up for the failed relationship but you can surely improve your future relationships with this strategy.
Also, do some meaningful work each day whether it is for your personal or professional development. Choose a career that you enjoy. This way even if you are going through hard times personally you wouldn’t feel exhausted professionally. Waking up in the morning and dressing up for the work you love would most likely fade away from your pain for a few hours. Interacting with like-minded people would prove to be encouraging and refreshing too.
So, if you were thinking ‘how can I stop missing her?’ think about ‘how can I focus on myself and my career? ‘Because life is too short to waste it mourning over a person who didn’t even value you in the first place. Thus, enroll in a professional course, learn a new skill, or even volunteer anywhere if you want to. Spending this time on your personal improvement and development will be highly beneficial in the longer run.
Related; how to improve yourself every day
4- Be social to stop missing her
As much as you hate facing people after you have had a breakup, you should do it more often. Stop spending the whole day at your house. Go out and meet your friends. Although they would ask about your love life, however, that shouldn’t be something to be ashamed of.
Just put the facts straight. The more you avoid something, the greater the fear and pain attached to it. Say that you are no longer together due to some odd reasons. You’ll instantly notice that it just lifted a certain weight over your shoulders.
It is okay to not want to interact with someone in the initial days of a breakup. Cry if you must, be angry or sad. But, not for too long. After certain days it will become extremely toxic and disturbing to handle all alone. So, lean on the people you trust. Share your feelings with them and see how your perspective changes things.
Join a club, go to a party, or have a Saturday movie night at your friend’s house. Surrounding yourself with people is an instant therapy to boost your mood and uplift your morale. You won’t feel sorry for yourself and you’ll look at life from a different perspective eventually.
5- Change your lifestyle
Often times when we are in a relationship with someone we change our schedules to suit each other’s and spend the most we can with one another. However, after a breakup with the same person if you continue following the same lifestyle you will keep on remembering them at every moment of the day.
It is advisable to change your lifestyle after a breakup. This way you won’t have to sit alone thinking about them each time you prepare breakfast in the morning or watch a movie on Saturday night.
If you had the habit of going for a walk with your partner in the evening, shift it to the morning. If you wanted to learn a new skill or try something for fun like skydiving or ice-skating, but you couldn’t just because your partner was scared. Then this is the perfect time to give it a try.
Focus on yourself and your lifestyle as much as you can. Experiment with it and get rid of all the habits that you acquired while staying with your partner. Not the good ones though! I am sure you won’t say ‘I miss her so badly,’ the next time you go out to have ice cream at a different time and place.
6- Explore and date
Coming to my favorite part! As much as you would want to be with someone to give you a shoulder to lean on and fill the void of love, you shouldn’t go for the next person you meet down the line. Because there is an adjustment period after a breakup.
You’ll experience so many emotions all at once and if you try to suppress them by committing to another relationship instantly, it won’t last long. It would just be a replacement for the previous relationship without having any serious feelings for that person.
So, before exploring your options in dating you should give yourself time first. Focus on everything that went wrong with the previous one. Meet other people but without forcing yourself to date them. Be mindfully present and commit if you must. I would only suggest remaining casual at first and letting yourself be responsible to deal with the commitments of any future relationship.
Related; How to Build Healthy Relationships
7- Focus on the positives
Although our mind loves to wander around looking for everything that went wrong, blaming ourselves and the other person frequently, everything wasn’t as bad as it seems, right? You had a fair share of good and happy moments with them along with the unhappy or bad moments.
There were downs in the relationship as much as there were ups in it. You just need to shift your attention from the negative to the positive.
Focus on what you learned from your past experience. Acknowledge the good habits that you adopted from your partner. Get rid of the bad ones and move on. Look around and be as lively as you were with them. Life doesn’t end with the departure of a single person. It has to move on.
Embrace the blessings that God has bestowed on you. Be thankful for the wonderful experiences and the beautiful people that came into your life. Because every person that comes into our life has a certain purpose to teach. Find that and be grateful.
Related; How to Stay Positive
Relationships are hard to handle, and breakups are even harder. The overwhelming feelings that engulf you immediately after a breakup make you give up on life. The constant crying and mourning can be dangerous to your mental and physical health though. So, you need to live again no matter how hard it seems. Follow our amazing tips to stop missing the person that broke your heart and you would never say ‘I miss her again.