Stopping caring about what others think can lead to a blissful life. Today we will be discussing why we care about what others think and how to stop caring about what others think
Care about people’s opinion and you will be their prisoner” Lao Tzu.
The quote stated above tells an extremely vital truth about human psychology.
Once you start caring about other’s perceptions of you, they start treating you like their hostage and take control of what you say, what you do, and what you decide for your life. People will not only judge you but also keep on poking their nose into every single matter of your life and will ruin your peace of mind. But the question arises that why we let others do this to our lives in the first place?
Fear of acceptance
There are several reasons that we care about what others think of us, for example, we are being brought up with the fear of acceptance by family friend and society, We are afraid of being different and authentic because we are taught to be like everybody else around us. We fear that if we do not do act like others, we may not fit in and will be left abandoned. Our desire to fit in compels us to change ourselves as per people’s perception. Hence we struggle hard enough to fit in, and in doing so, we become people pleasers. Avoiding doing so is one of the keys that can prevent us from caring about what others think. We need to find out ways to overcome fear and acceptance and stop caring about what others think.
Seeking validation from others
Secondly, we also seek validation from others before doing anything to get acceptance from the people around us. We judge ourselves on how others perceive our personality. A sense of failure surrounds us when people do not validate our actions and we start to think that something is wrong with us. However, in doing so we forget that we are born with a unique identity, nature, and purpose and we need to discover and pursue that in our lives. There is something extraordinary in every single one of us which is different from the whole world and that is our strength. People pointing fingers at us have their inadequacies while growing up and becoming part of the same society. Therefore we need to understand that we can neither change people’s opinions nor can stop their mouths from saying anything.
We must realize that; “There is a very fine line between opinion and fact” What others are saying or thinking are their opinion and not a fact. So, instead of figuring thoughts of others about you and wasting your precious time and energy, shift your focus towards;
1- Who you really are
Consider the fact that by concentrating on other’s judgment of you, you will never be able to get clarity of your thoughts, ideas, and desires. Thus we need to pay attention inside of us rather than outside to know ourselves well. If we learn how to become self-motivated and know ourselves to the core, we will never be bothered by the perceptions and opinions of others. Our confusion about our actions or decisions makes us conscious of other people’s reactions and comments. If we are confident enough about ourselves, strengths, weaknesses, what we are good at as well as what we are bad at, we will be more creative. Becoming self-aware will let us figure out the true identity. Self-realization will provide us with sharpened insight to define and design the life we want to live and we will be able to stop caring about what others think of us.
2- Accept and Love yourself
Learning how to accept yourself with all your flaws and shortcomings, You need to keep in mind that nobody is perfect and you don’t need to prove yourself to be perfect to others anyway. If you want to be truly free from people’s perceptions about you then you should not only accept yourself the way you are but also love yourself as well. Loving yourself with all the imperfections will give you a tremendous confidence boost which will not be shakable by people’s words and thoughts about you.
To develop self-love you need to say positive affirmations to you on a daily basis
like you are enough, you are beautiful, you are self-sufficient, you are giving your best to get what you want, etc. You need to make a habit of positive self-talk in order to live a more fulfilled life. Saying positive things to yourself increase your trust in you and your abilities and you get more and more realization about your achievements in your life. When you develop a habit of self-love then you will feel more contented and rewarded than ever before. Secondly, you will become unapologetic of your imperfections and flaws. Click here to read some ways on how to develop self-love. Developing self-love allows us to stop caring about others opinion of us.
3- Understand that everyone is not you
People’s opinions depend on their lives’ experience and not your actions. They can only think of what they have experienced or seen in their journey. They do not have a vision and insight like you and that is all okay because if you want to do something new and outstanding, you will have to face the backlash of mediocre minds. All humans do not possess the same caliber as you to understand and visualize what you can do. If something feels natural to you then you do not need to change if people do not find it normal. Just think about the benefits of doing what you are doing rather than what others are thinking about it.
“Great spirits have always encountered violent oppositions from mediocre mind” Albert Einstein
Every mind does not bear the same potential as you so people commenting on your work and actions should be none of your business.
4- Do not seek approval from others
If you have a plan for your life and you really want to turn it into reality, then you should not seek approval for your actions. If you believe in something then give your best to make it happen regardless of what others have an opinion about it. Doubting your actions can lead you to collapse at the start of your journey.
“Doubts kill more dreams than failure ever will” Suzy Kassem.
When you do not seek approval then your focus and devotion towards your work will let you create the most amazing for your life. You will start harnessing powers that will turn impossible to possible. When you are confident enough and seek support from within then the outer world cannot hassle your choices for your life.
“When you do not need or seek approval, you are at your most powerful” Caroline Myss.
5- Try to figure out their lives too
If someone is telling you what to do and what not do and pointing fingers at you all the time then you need to try to walk into their shoes. Get a glimpse of where do they stand in their lives? Have they achieved enough or have they been to the same path as yours or just poking their nose into your stuff just to satisfy their insecurities and failures. If they haven’t done anything nearly like you are doing or planning to do in the future then you need to just simply ignore their perceptions and viewpoints and stop caring about what they think. But if you found them a bit of concerned and experienced in your field, then sometimes taking advice from the right ones is no harm at all. Click here to learn how asking for advice can benefit us.
6- Shift your concern from reputation
Do your best and try your level best to do the right thing always, not to satisfy others but to satisfy your soul and consciousness. When you do the right things to develop your character, your personality gets enhanced and your aura becomes less vulnerable to other peoples’ opinions of you. You need to keep in mind that you are not born to impress others all the time; rather others should get impressed by your determination and your true self. If you keep changing on what others are thinking of you then you will result in having a weak and unstable personality, thus you need to start developing your character rather than your reputation because;
“Character is who you are and reputation is what others think of you- Craig Groeschel”
7- Learn to make peace with whatever people say
One must keep in mind that people will always talk about you, slander you, and will hate you no matter what you do. So you need to make peace with their opinions and should not ruin your peace of mind. You cannot control their thoughts and words but you can control how you respond to them. Therefore it is better to preserve your energy for your own constructive things rather than focusing and reacting on what others are thinking about you.
8- Take control of your life
If you are constantly thinking about what others are thinking of you, your life is not yours anymore. You have given total charge of your life to others as their opinion will make you change your course of action. You need to make your personality strong enough that other people get into your influence rather than getting into someone else’s opinion trap and change yourself. Do not become the jailbird of people’s judgments and opinions and stop caring about what they think of you.
The eyes of others, our prisoners, their thoughts our cages” Virginia Woolf.
People always change their minds. They do not stick to one stance or opinion. You change one thing for them and they will come up with another objection and so on. If you comply with others and always follow their commands, you will lose your own charisma. Why put so much effort into pleasing others and ignore yourself in this process? Never let the opinions of others dull your shine and change your direction and choices and stop caring about what they think of you.I am saying again stop caring about what they think of you.
9- Find your bliss
Another thing you can do to avoid to stop caring about what others think is to find a hobby or something you love doing even in your leisure time. When you find something you love doing, then even during your free time you will feel mesmerized by your own bliss. It could be going on a jog, a long drive, listening to your favorite music, reading a book, or anything which gives you true happiness. Everyone should discover means of entertainment for them which gives them an absolute sense of peace and spirituality.
The human brain needs such type of activity in order to do the routine tasks efficiently and competently. If our brains get stuck in unconstructive and negative thoughts in our leisure time, it will have an effect on our day to day performance as well. Therefore the quality of leisure time is equally important to maintain peace of mind. By achieving equanimity throughout your day you will not be affected by what others are thinking about you even in your free time and if you are having a hard time finding out a hobby then click here to learn how to find a hobby.
10- Evaluate the opinion of trustworthy people.
Even after taking care of your thoughts, precious time and energy from other opinions about us, exceptions of people who really do care about us are always there. At times people do have a point and it hits us to our nerves that they might be right. They might have found a true inadequacy in us so that’s why it hit us hard and we become suddenly conscious. These are the people who truly know us and want the best for us. They could also be the ones who are experienced enough in their lives and took risks for themselves as well. It could also be the reason that they have hit on the exact insufficiency in our plans or actions. They are the people whose advice is not only reliable but also considerable for your future choices.
Since such people are trustworthy therefore in these situations you must evaluate their opinion and advice and if they are truly right then take their recommendations but for others just stop caring about what they think of you.
Stop caring about others is one of the keys to success. Here are 10 other keys to success in life.