Do you deem yourself unworthy of love and care?
or, you feel like you will never be good enough?
But, do you wish you could appreciate and love yourself more?
So, how to love self and show yourself the same care that you treat others with?
Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself. It means accepting and loving yourself just the way you are. It does not imply being narcissistic or too absorbed in yourself, rather it implies getting in touch with yourself, your well-being, and happiness. In fact, self-love is the best habit that will not only affect your well-being but also impact your overall success in life. When you focus on yourself and develop self-love and compassion for yourself, you start to build your self-esteem and break barriers that are blocking your path. You start to accept your weaknesses and your strengths. Ultimately, you will develop compassion for yourself as a human being.
You need to know that you are very special. There is no other person in the world like you. You deserve to be loved not only by those around you but by the most important person in your life — you. So, how to love self? Practicing self-love can be challenging at times. Loving yourself can be the hardest yet one of the most important things you can do. Well, I have put together 8 ways that can help you practice the art of self-love right away.
1. Know yourself to love self
You can only love yourself if you truly know yourself. It is impossible to love yourself if you do not even know who you truly are. In order to accept yourself and love yourself, you need to understand who you really are, what you believe, value, and like. A strong and clear sense of self helps you discover your identity to eventually love yourself.
According to the maxim:
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”Aristotle
So, how to know yourself? How to find your purpose in life? How to discover your true identity? Well, I have got you sorted. To know yourself you have to follow these simple steps. Be quiet and observe yourself. Spend some time alone with yourself. Only when you are quiet and still will you be able to evaluate yourself. Many people feel very uncomfortable spending time alone in their own company because they fear their thoughts. You will not be able to see every facet and every truth of your life until you sit with yourself and inquire about your thoughts and feelings.
Realize your specific gifts and talents. You might have set certain goals and ideas for yourself, but that may not necessarily define your true self. You need to assess your personality and find your strengths and weaknesses. Once you pinpoint your talents and gifts, you will come to terms with your true self.
Find out what you are passionate about. Find out what excites you. What makes you happier and fulfilled? Find out what you spend hours reading about and getting information about. It will help you understand yourself in better ways and you will get to know yourself more.
2. Do not compare yourself with others to Love Self
Human beings are born competitive. You tend to compete and compare yourself to others all the time. You compare your grades, jobs, house, and now even Instagram likes. Comparing yourself to others can be quite lethal for your mental health. Comparing yourself to others can fast-track you towards unhappiness. It can be a recipe for your misery and frustration. To lead a peaceful and successful life you need to stop comparing yourself with others.
So you might think how do I stop comparing myself to others? Well, whenever you see someone doing well, instead of getting jealous and comparing yourself with them, compliment that person on their achievements. This will liberate your feelings of animosity, hatred, and jealousy. It will help you brighten up that person’s day ultimately making you feel good about yourself.
Understand that you are unique and have special abilities that no one else has. You are not a meaningless object rather you are on this earth to serve a purpose. Once you start believing in yourself and your abilities you will be able to appreciate and love yourself.
Embrace your journey. Every person in this world has their journey and struggles that they have gone through. Each one of us has had a different set of experiences and lessons that they have passed. You need to embrace your journey and your path. You cannot compare your beginning to someone’s middle. Also, you do not have any idea how much the other person might have struggled. Stay focused on your journey and work hard to forge your way ahead.
Related: How to be Content with Yourself
3. Accept and love your body the way it is
Your society has created certain beauty standards that you need to fit into. You need to meet the criterion of a certain ‘body image’ created by your society. Research has shown that about 91% of women are not content with their body shape. People who are not happy with their bodies resort to certain diets that may prove harmful to them in the long run eventually resulting in eating disorders.
If you are not happy with your body you can never be happy with yourself and likewise, you will not love yourself the way you should. It is high time to negate these sinister values and beauty standards created by your society and to start loving yourself just the way you are. Instead of objectifying yourself, you need to accept yourself. You are not an object that has to fit into a certain mold to be viewed as perfect or not. No one is perfect in this world, and everyone should be allowed this luxury to be comfortable in their skin. After all, you are not a Barbie doll that needs to have a certain body shape and size to be approved.
Do not get fixated on a certain part of your body. Understand that you are unique and are beautiful in every aspect. Accept yourself with all the flaws and faults. Once you start treating your body with kindness and compassion you will see your self-esteem grow day by day, letting you love and accept yourself.
4. Be mindful to love yourself
Mindfulness is a type of meditation in which you focus on your thoughts and feelings at the moment. It makes you intensely aware of what you are feeling and what exactly is going on in your mind. Being mindful of yourself helps you focus on your thought process, emotions, and your most raw feelings. It helps you know yourself better at so many levels. Once you start to know yourself, you become aware of yourself as a person and start to accept yourself the way you are. This practice will ultimately lead you on to loving yourself.
Life is quite busy nowadays, so you tend to be distracted and do not fully acknowledge your thought process and your emotions. These distractions drain your energy and keep you from knowing your true self and expressing yourself more. The practice of mindfulness can help you accept and love yourself because when you are mindful you allow all of your thoughts and feelings rather than pushing them away. You often try to distract yourself or deny all the overwhelming feelings. This allows you to negate your feelings and a part of yourself is also lost with it.
To know your true self and to pave a path to love yourself you need to be mindful of what you are feeling. Not only the positive emotions but you need to work through the negative emotions to know and accept your true self. People who are mindful of themselves and their feelings know exactly what they want in their life. They act on their thoughts and the knowledge provided by them rather than on what others want from them. This allows a person to have more control over themselves and their life, giving way to accepting and loving themselves through every experience in life.
5. How to love self- Allow yourself to make mistakes
Mistakes are human and unavoidable. They are a part of human nature. Human beings are not perfect and these imperfections are a part of what makes you you. However, you strive to achieve perfectionism and do not allow yourself to make mistakes. Even a small mistake can let you be overly self-critical of yourself. You are probably hard on yourself than anyone else. You can not seem to let go of even the tiniest mistakes and are constantly disappointed in yourself. Well, if that is the case, you have to cut yourself some slack and you have to let yourself off the hook for your mistakes.
So, what to do when you make a mistake? Instead of torturing yourself with the guilt trip, you have to see your mistakes as lessons in disguise. This will help you learn from your mistakes. Realize that if you were to never make mistakes, you would have to try nothing new in your life. Your life would seem robotic with no new experiences and no new adventures to try out.
So instead of beating yourself down for making mistakes, you have to learn to forgive and love yourself. You have to change your perspective. Instead of being hard on yourself for making mistakes and be the victim, you can turn your mistakes into creative attempts to taste life in different ways. Lastly, enjoy making a mess on the canvas, it will eventually lead you down the path of self-acceptance and self-love.
6. Practice gratitude
Gratitude is such a powerful emotion that can change your life completely. It can surely help you along your path towards self-love. Take a moment to be grateful for something in your everyday life. Being grateful can help your psychological health, your relationships, and even your physical health. To achieve the state of self-love you need to stop in your tracks and show your appreciation of what you do have. Instead of focusing on what you do not have and hating yourself for that, you can simply practice gratitude by focusing on the goals you have achieved.
How to be a grateful person?
You may think how can I be a grateful person? Look around you. Be grateful for the little things you have in your life. It can be anything from getting good grades to setting up a business of your own. Appreciate everything that you have and do not be a picky person. Realize that nothing is too small for you to be a grateful person.
Keep a gratitude journal. Write down the things that you are thankful for every day. This will help you develop a positive attitude towards life and yourself. Rather than beating and loathing yourself for not achieving what you intended to, you will start to look for the good in everything and eventually, this will help you appreciate and love yourself for the little things that you achieved in a day.
You can practice the meditation technique Naikan. This 3-step meditation includes asking yourself 3 questions at the end of every day. Just set aside 30 minutes out of your day and ask yourself ‘What have I received today?’. Recall your day and see what you have received, it can be as simple as the smile of your partner. Ask yourself ‘What have I given today?’ and lastly ask yourself ‘What troubles did I cause today?’
7. Practice good self-care to love yourself
You must care for yourself to feel good about yourself and to love yourself. Taking care of your body will nourish your soul in turn and you will feel good about yourself. In addition, It will help you stay happy, healthy, and content with yourself. A good self-care routine involves taking care of your diet, sleep, and exercising regularly to reduce stress and enjoying yourself and your life to the fullest. You often get crazy busy and get distracted with your life that you do not have time to take care of yourself and your body. However, having some me-time should be your top priority if you want to be successful in your self-love journey.
Start off with your sleeping schedule. Sleep can have a great impact on your emotional and physical well-being. Not getting enough sleep can cause major health issues. It can disrupt your physical and mental health and can wreak havoc on your day-to-day life. So, you must have a good night’s sleep to ace your self-care routine.
Related: How to Get Better Sleep at Night
Exercise Regularly can change your life
Exercising daily can boost up your mood. It is extremely helpful in reducing stress and anxiety. Exercising daily will make you feel good about yourself and will make you appreciate your daily efforts. This will lead you on to loving yourself to the fullest.
Having a balanced diet is essential to your self-care routine. Eating right is essential for self-care. Eating good and healthy food will not only benefit your body but it will also nurture your mind and soul. The food we eat can either make or break us. It can either contribute to certain diseases or it can make you healthy and fit. So some of the amazing food that can benefit your body include fruits such as blueberries, green leafy vegetables, fish, nuts, and eggs.
Related: Are you what you eat
8. Let go of toxic people to love yourself
To love yourself with full freedom and without any guilt attached, you have to let go of toxic people around you. Toxic people are destructive and dangerous. Not only do they tend to drain your energy but also can cause you endless harm in your life. Studies have shown that people who have toxic people in their life in some way or form are at a greater risk of heart disease. Thereby, It is important to cut off toxic people from your life since they are a constant strain to your life, causing irreparable damage to your mental health and overall progress in life.
But, how to remove toxic people from your life? You have to identify who is the cause of toxicity in your life? It can be anyone a close friend, a spiteful boss, or even a family member. You need to understand that you cannot change a toxic person. You cannot help them change their behavior or become better. Rather, they are motivated by their complex behavior and problems and are almost always a hopeless project.
So, set up your boundaries and learn to say no. You will love yourself more when you limit your boundaries around such people. Saying no to their baseless strategies that harm you physically, emotionally, and spiritually will surely lead you on towards happiness and success in your life. Bringing in the right people in your life will let you grow and will let you love and respect yourself more
To love and cherish yourself, you have to take some steps in your life. Although, the journey towards self-love may not be easy. But, remember once you surpass this goal you will rediscover your true inner self. Understand that in today’s world and time, self-love is not a luxury rather it is a necessity. So, to practice self-love start by being kind, gentle, and compassionate towards yourself. Remember that you are the person you will always be with through every thick and thin, so you must have the best dynamics with your self and you must love yourself to the fullest. Follow these amazing steps that will surely guide you in your journey towards self-love.