Are they The One? Will my relationship last a lifetime? How to know if you have found the right partner?
If you have ever been in a relationship or are currently in search of one then you often might have thought to yourself, are they ‘The One?
Although dating someone in the start might give you all the butterflies and make you the happiest person in the world yet this thought of having found the right person often crosses everyone’s mind, and rightly so! For some of us, relationships are like a minefield where we have to tread cautiously.
Because if you don’t you might have a series of betrayals and heartbreaks which won’t be easy to mend later. Even if you have found a loved one, it is normal to have doubts and worry if they are a perfect match for you.
So, how to know if you have found the right partner? Whether you are in search of a partner or already have one, here is a list of 10 signs that will help you know if they are ‘The One.
10 Signs that your relationship will last a lifetime
Although it would be nice to have an absolute answer to ‘am I with the right person?’ yet is important to realize that life and relationships are not that simple. No one can tell you if you are with the right person rather it’s you who have to think and decide. The signs mentioned below are not exhaustive and everyone can have their idea of what a perfect partner and relationship may look like. But.
One thing is for sure if it feels right and respectful then you have surely met a good human whether or not they prove to be the right person remains a question that only time has the answer to. However, in this quest of finding The Right person these 10 signs mentioned below will surely help.
1- You hold the same or complementary values and personalities
For two people who have to live and build a life together, it is crucial to have the same or complementary values. Values are core principles that define your life. The things that matter the most to you. Questions like where you want to live? Do you plan on having kids or not? Or who will manage the finances and house chores?
Now, what you need to understand here is that two people having different family backgrounds, different experiences and different outlooks on life would never share identical values in every aspect of life. Rather you need to look if you two complement each other.
Are your personalities complementing each other? Are you a social butterfly while your partner is media shy? Or, are they chatty and you are the quiet one? Just as the saying goes ‘opposite attracts’ similarly do your different but complementary personalities also balance out your life?
One last but most important thing to take into consideration is whether your outlook on life converges on the most important aspects. From opinions related to family and finances to decisions related to privacy and physical health do you agree to disagree? If yes then you have found the right partner. However, if the answer to all this self-probing is no then you should take it as a red flag.
Related; How to Know if Someone Really Cares About You?
2- You can be your crazy self around them
With the right person, everything is so natural! You don’t have to worry if they will judge you for who you are. For your opinions and decisions. It’s easier to be yourself around them. It’s easier to speak your mind and not fear what they will think of you. Life seems so easier around them as there is no pretending.
While it is important to be yourself it is also important to choose a partner that loves you for who you are. A person you are comfortable with even when you aren’t looking or feeling your best. Someone who understands your mood swings. Someone who uplifts you when you feel down.
This means that your partner makes you feel at home. They approach you with love and understanding. They are gentle with you and understand that you are a human who is bound to have some days off. With the right person, you won’t feel anxious, neglected, taken for granted, or sit on the edge waiting for a fight.
This doesn’t mean that you won’t have fights or arguments. Instead, it means that overall you will feel relaxed and at peace with one another where there is no pretending rather everything feels natural and genuine. So, if this is how you feel then you have certainly found the right partner!
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3- You know they are loyal and honest
Healthy relationships are based on mutual trust, loyalty, and honesty. Loyalty is what makes the foundation of any relationship. For most of us, loyalty just means not getting involved in another relationship while you already are with someone. But, in essence, loyalty does not only mean that. Rather, according to Gabrielle at Regain ‘loyalty is so much more than not sleeping with someone other than your significant other.’
Loyalty encompasses all the aspects of a relationship. It means that you share your problems with your partner instead of someone else. It means that your partner is not an option but a choice that you made. Loyalty means sticking with each other through thick and thin.
It means being there for each other through good times and bad times. However, supporting each other during bad times does in no way means that you bear any abusive or toxic behavior of your significant other. Instead, abusive partners are in no way loyal to you in the first place.
In short, loyalty is paramount for any relationship to last. So, if your partner is loyal to you, has shared every aspect of their personality with you and above all is patient with you during tough times then you certainly have found the right partner for you.
4- You feel respected
Respect means giving others the same regard that you wish others to give you. It is valuing other people’s opinions and ideas even when you disagree. Love is respect, aptly puts respect in these words,
‘In a relationship partners are equal thereby none has the authority over the other. Nor you can control the other person by making them do or agree to something they disagree with.’
In simpler words, being equal in a relationship you are entitled to live your life on your terms. But, this also doesn’t mean that you do whatever you want without even telling your partner. One aspect of respect is considering your partner’s opinion before deciding anything. Listening and valuing each other’s opinions.
So, when you are in a relationship with the right person you feel valued and respected. You are heard and understood. You feel that your needs are met and your partner appreciates your differences. With the right partner even if you fight you would do it fairly and respectfully.
5- They are the first person you share every little detail with
Who is the first person you share your days’ details with? If it’s not your partner then I highly doubt if you have found the right partner. Your partner is the one person who vows to stay together with you through thick and thin. They stick with you through good times and through bad times as well.
They deserve to know what’s happening in your life whether good or bad. But, you only share something with the other person when they make you feel heard, right?
So, it’s more about them making you want to share everything first. Generally, if good things happen your partner will be the first person to whom you disclose your happiness too. However, if you tend to hide your problems from them then it is a matter of concern. Especially if you are the reason behind that problem.
So, ask yourself a few questions, does your partner make you feel guilty for your mistakes? Or do they show you the way out of your problems? When you are with the right person you know that no matter what the circumstances your partner will be there to listen, empathize and show you a way out of your problem.
6- You can envision your future with them
The right person fits into your life. They won’t just be interacting with you in their little sphere of relationship. Instead, they would make an effort to get to know other people in your life as well. And not just fitting in your current life the right person is the one whom you can imagine your future with.
If you start imagining your future with your partner. If you and your partner make plans for your future life. Or, if they make you a part of their goals like buying a new home or starting a new business then be sure that you are with the right person. People only make you a part of their future if they want to be with you.
So, ask yourself a few questions first. Do you see yourself with them 5 years from now? Do you want a family with your current partner? Or, you are waiting for things to change and hoping to find someone better?
Well, whatever your answers were if you want a future with your partner then you have certainly made the right choice for yourself. The same goes for your partner, if they plan out their life with you then you two are made for each other!
7- Your life feels complete and balanced
With the right person by your side, your life seems complete and balanced. Even though you have to compromise your boundaries sometimes. Or, you might have to put in extra effort at times. But, even if your partner has to work long hours and you have to do all the chores alone because you come back early still the tradeoffs seem fair.
The right person brings a sense of calmness and balance to your life. You don’t have to pretend nor are you cautious of being judged by them. With the right person, you do not worry about being criticized or you don’t have to think twice before saying anything.
You know that even if your words don’t make any sense your partner will understand what you mean by them. The right person is like a safety net. Whenever you are in a problem or have a hard time wrapping your head around life you would go running toward your partner. They are not just your partner but a home and a safe place as well. In their absence, your life always seems incomplete.
8- You are comfortable spending time apart
Well, how to know if you have found the right partner? A healthy relationship is one in which both partners are comfortable spending time apart from each other. In fact, according to relationship experts spending time with and having aspects of your life that you share with people other than your partner like friends and family grows and strengthens your relationship.
By doing this you gain a sense of self-worth and you develop an individuality that is outside of your relationship. Doing certain things without your partner helps you find yourself and gain confidence as well.
Apart from that spending time apart and being comfortable with it speaks tons of how much you trust each other. It tells that you trust and respect each other immensely which is why you are cool with spending time apart from each other as well.
Related; 7 ways to stay Faithful in a Relationship
9- You feel like the best version of yourself
Being with the right person makes you feel like the best version of yourself when you are around them. You might have noticed that people whom you interact with bring about a certain side of you outside.
Some people bring out the bad in you but the right person not only brings out the good in you but also encourages you to reach your full potential. With the right person, you feel good not only about yourself but also about your partner. You like the present version of your partner and you also want to see them reach their goals.
So, if you both love each other the way you are right now but also encourage each other in being the best version of yourself then you certainly have found the right partner.
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10- You have the chemistry
Do you still get that easy-breezy, fun-filled flirty vibes from your partner? Well, if you do then you are with the right person. This chemistry would be more pronounced at the start of a relationship. But, with the right person even when the honeymoon phase ends and you have been committed for a good five years still you feel the butterflies in your stomach when your partner is around.
So, if you are having doubts about your partner just think about whether you still have that chemistry or not. And remember it’s okay if you are going through a rough patch in your life and not feeling the chemistry at this moment. But, if that feeling is there then you certainly are with the right person.
Every person at some point in their relationship has this question ‘am I with the right person?’ Sometimes this question is born out of doubts and insecurities but other times it might just be a normal reflection of your relationship and your partner to balance out your romantic feelings and think clearly.
So, to clear the clutter of confusion in your head just look for these 10 signs in your partner. To be precise when you have found the right partner you just feel right. People often say that if you know you know! So, look into your heart. Take your intuition into consideration along with keeping these 10 signs in your mind.