Before diving into how to be confident, take a moment to recall a moment in your life when you had to let go of appreciation, reward, or limelight only because you were not as confident as someone else in the same room. Can you relate to the feeling of disappointment that sweeps one in such a scenario? If your answer is affirmative, then read on to seize the day by being the most confident person next time. 

But first. 

Why is being confident so important? 

Being confident is important because not being able to talk publically, take up a challenge, or assert yourself is hindering a successful life for you. You are capable of so much more only if you learn how to be confident. A great deal of research has been done on the importance of being confident. The most notable work is attributed to Canadian American psychotherapist Nathaniel Branden. According to him, confidence is not just a psychological phenomenon. The implications of low self-esteem can be pathological as well. For example anxiety, difficulty in relationships, and depression. He argues that external assistance like parents teachers and friends helps improve confidence levels.

The quickest way to gain confidence

I still remember the numerous balusters of my high school where I studied for 5 years. Being a bright but under-confident student, I often lagged behind in social interactions and class participation. Each column in the school building had a quotation or golden words of a famous person written on it. But one quotation that I still remember was the quickest way to be confident is to attempt a thing you are afraid of doing. For me, the adage proved to be the first step towards better self-confidence as I tried and tested its efficacy numerous times. It is surely a timeless quotation. So next time you feel ‘not so confident about something, have a go at it instantly. Now we will be discussing some ways in detail in which you ca nin crease your confidence and be the better version of yourself.

Good things come to those who are consistent

Remember gaining confidence is not an overnight phenomenon. It will take days, weeks, or maybe even months before you start having the confidence you lack in your interactions, demeanor, and finally attitude. This would mean rewiring your brain to think, act, and respond in certain ways both in our individual and public lives. 

But who will be your mentor on this journey?

The most suitable person to help you in order to be confident is YOU. Scientists claim that internal factors such as being mindful of one’s activities, self-acceptance of one’s strong and weak holds, and lastly being self-assertive of one’s needs and interests are pivotal to gaining confidence. Here are some tips to stay consistent in life.

Ways to increase your confidence level

1- Give yourself a pep talk

When struggling with confidence, one of the most effective boosters is to give yourself constant counseling and courage also popularly called pep talk. Remind yourself of your positive traits, your accomplishments in life no matter how small they seem, or of positive feedback from someone worthwhile. it is also advisable to jot down a list of such successful endeavors and go through them every time you are taking up a challenge or feeling not so confident. 

This might seem like an insignificant exercise but its implications are manifold. It will not only provide you with a surge of positive energy but also lower your stress level

2- Accept your intimidation

To be confident, you need to remember that no one is perfect in the world so having fears and insecurities is but natural. Each and every human being lags in one area of life or the other. Someone may have excellent communication skills but a weak academic record. Yet another person may be a great multi-tasker but has low self-esteem. So dig deep inside yourself and find the areas where you need to work on yourself. 

Ask yourself.

 Are you afraid of interactions with the opposite gender, parents, or even your friends? Do you find it hard to be confident while speaking, or taking up a challenge? Or it is that you are trying to boost your confidence at work?

Once the answer to such questions is clear in your head, you can metamorphose into a person with tremendous potential and achievements slowly but steadily.

3- Take control of your life to be confident

Once you have decided to start your struggle with the confidence level, be ready to face resistance in the form of bullying, mistreatment, or undue criticism from people around you. Do not be put off in such situations. Remember you are claiming your space and place which will be frowned upon by people who do not want to see you growing. But now you are on your journey to self-confidence and if you can cross this mental barrier then the further steps will also seem easy. Now start claiming authorship of your actions and consequences and say with authority this is what I want from life.  

But what should you do when someone tries to put you down?

Take control of your life and remove the negative people from your life. People who pull your leg or who do not believe in your strengths. If you cannot take them out, at least learn to ignore them. Here are a few helpful tips to get rid of negative people.

4- Progressively desensitize your fear

We all have experienced this feeling. There have been things, goals, and objectives that we have hankered after for a long time, and when finally when we achieve these, we sense an anti-climactic feeling. The feeling that the achievement was after all not as big a deal as we previously considered it.  This is called progressive desensitization in psychological terms. The same is true for confidence. From a distance, a task might seem impossible and beyond one’s capability and confidence level. Initially, you have to ask yourself how to be confident enough to undertake it. But once you fasten up and decide to attempt, you automatically raise the confidence bar from zero to one on a scale of 100 in the first shot. Success is immaterial right now. From this point onwards your journey towards a more confident you is never-ending. 

5- To be confident, Learn from the example

Observe people who are in the same field that you aspire to be in. Or who possesses the kind of confidence that you think you lack. Whether you have a fear of talking to members of the opposite gender or a lack of initiative, observe people around you who you admire in this regard. Notice the traits of their personality that make them confident. Their attire, knowledge, attitude, and competencies are not some things that are innate. By strengthening your relevant area of personality, you can also overcome underconfidence.


Some people are genetically wired to be highly confident, but the gene is not destiny. Human beings have been crowned master creations because of their tremendous adaptive skills. With strong willpower and concrete actions. You can break the shackles of low self-confidence. Here are a few habits of highly confident people.

6- Find the motivation to continue:

Failure certainly is a confidence crusher. The last thing a person struggling with self-confidence needs is a demotivating failure. But failure is inevitable! What one needs to remember throughout this struggle is that failure means that you are trying. It is better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all! In fact, experts advise that one should “practice failure” because sometimes success does not teach you as much as failure does.

When working to gain confidence try to focus on the positive side of everything. Your last mistake is most certainly your best teacher. Be it a disappointing failure, a demoralizing criticism, or a loss of a coveted opportunity. Seems too idealistic? Good news.

 It is possible. Here is how.

Find scaffolding:

Surround yourself with people who will act as scaffolding for you. Someone who believes in your capabilities and appreciates you unconditionally.  It can be a friend, teacher, parent, or anyone trustworthy. Having such a person in your proximity will ensure that your fluctuating morale does not stop you from trying harder next time. It can even be a pet, a most loved book, or a motivating quote. 

7- Look Confident

To enhance your confidence level and self-esteem, it is crucial to work on your appearance. Appearance doesn’t only comprise of how you look, it also includes how you carry yourself, how you communicate with not only your words but also your body language, how you sit, and how you stand. 

Have you ever saved your favorite dress for a special occasion, the answer would probably be yes. How we appear to ourselves and our body image in our own eyes is the biggest confidence booster. When we feel we are healthy or at our ideal weight or figure, we automatically feel more assured and sanguine. This looks good, feel-good emotion transcends into a positive attitude towards everything else as well.

What does science say?

Author of “The Body Language Advantage” Lillian Glass, says that it is essential to hold your head all the time, as the sign of a confident person is that he always looks up, not down at the table, ground, or his feet. He should pretend as if a string holds the crown of his head up. 

Other confidence tips to impress others are never to slouch while standing, lean forward in a conversation of your interest, make appropriate eye contact, and not fidget with your hands or with things in your pocket. Click here to read the science behind self-confidence.


Confident is the mnemonic for Control On Nerves For Indefinite Duration Every New Day. And rightly so. To be confident you need to transmit your focus energy and goodwill into measurable actions. The results will slowly but surely follow. Just like other skills confidence is also a skill that can be cultivated and strengthened. It’s like a muscle that can be developed with constant training and practice. So good luck and godspeed in your endeavors. Being confident is one of the keys to success in life. You can read here about another 10 keys to success in life. Click on the following link to read somewhere tips and tricks that will help you be confident.

About the Author

Syed Sarmad Ali

Syed Sarmad Ali is a Writer, Poet, and a Digital Marketing Enthusiast. He aims to spread happiness and inspire people to Live, Love & Laugh wholeheartedly.

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